The Emotional Needs and Creative Strengths of the Coming Generation
I have worked with one generation my entire 13 year ministry: Generation Y (those who are currently approximately 16 – 32 years old). What makes me unique is that I am also part of this generation.
EMOTIONAL NEEDS: Ned asked me to write about “The Emotional Needs and Creative Strengths of the Coming Generation.” There are many avenues I could take here, but let me boil it down to one important one: My generation is cynical. Not everyone will admit it, but we have a hard time trusting people. We have seen neighbors, leaders, presidents, pastors, priests, and business men all fall to some of the most horrendous sins you can image and have watched it unfold in uncomfortable detail on TV and the internet. A fear that lingers in our hearts when talking to people is, “When am I going to find out about your secret life?” We see these secret lives lived out online. We’ve seen “Christians” post Facebook photos of themselves drunk, lying in bed with a significant other, and posting comments about “last night”. A close relative of mine eventually deleted their Facebook account because this type of dissonance was too upsetting to them and they didn’t want to get cynical towards certain people. Due to the advances in technology and documentation of our lives, most young people have had to deal with this dissonance early on and have had to embrace it…which leads us to be cynical. Is it any wonder we keep certain people at a distance and are skeptical about whether or not a person is who they seem to be?
So how can the church reach a young person who has this worldview? Two words: Be honest. It’s understood that good Christians have it all together, never talk about their secular personal life, and dress-up (even your cultural preferences) before coming to church. Some of us have bought into this and end up being totally fake – not true to who we are or how we feel. Younger people can sense this dissonance from a mile away because they are ultra-sensitive to it and are already assuming that you are not who you appear to be. Since they’ve seen the real truth come out many times in the past, they are somewhat traumatized by “perfect looking” older people. They don’t trust it.
HONESTY: These may be areas of sin or areas where you are just “human.” If you drink an occasional beer and say the occasional off color word at home: don’t pretend that you don’t. Seriously! If you’re trying to talk to a young person about not struggling with sexual sin: tell them (in an appropriate manner) how you’ve struggled or have specifically overcome it. If you’re talking or preaching about something that may not have a “black and white” answer – say that. Don’t be afraid to say things like, “this is kind of a messy topic.” We will love you for it – no joke.
You may ask, “Doesn’t this make young people feel like they’re surrounded by a bunch of sinners who don’t have it all together?” The answer is “yes!” Since they already know this is true, it makes them feel more at ease to hear you admit it. Being transparent about who you are in everyday life will make walls come down for young people.
Of course, this comes with perceived disadvantages. If you tell people that you struggle with trusting God – maybe you need to hold off on that 7 week series on trusting God. Of course you should work on your struggle before teaching on it…but THEN you will have some amazing, compelling sermon illustrations! All people, especially young people, would love to hear about how you worked through something. This is so much more real, practical, and directly applicable to their daily life. It sounds like: “This is how I struggled – and this is how I worked through it – and this is how it can look in your life.”
The apostle Paul was a living example of a godly person who was honest about his sin. He never ignores, downplays, or emphasizes how he used to be a sinner. In fact 1 Timothy 1:15 says, “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners – of whom I am the worst.” He says that he is “the worst”…he doesn’t say “I used to be a sinner.” And after all that, we still look up to him above any Christian we know today! If Paul did it – so can we! You don’t have to flaunt it, but don’t try to hide it either.
Again, we can see this thirst for honesty many places in the entertainment of Generation Y. In my church, Indie Rock music is very popular, which is more “raw” and sounds a little flawed…but that’s why we like it. It sounds real and not over produced or perfect sounding. A big trend in movies and TV is the use of 1st person point of view / hand held cameras (the Office, Paranormal Activity, etc.) which makes you feel like you’re right there. Reality TV is life in all of its messy, “unscripted”, ugly glory. Notable popular songs in our time have had choruses like: “I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo…I don’t belong here” (Radiohead), “I’m a loser, baby” (Beck), “I’m gonna do the things I wanna do, I ain’t got a thing to prove to you” (Weezer), “inside you’re ugly…I can see through you, see to the real you” (Stained). We’re very comfortable with being real and even flawed. In fact, things that are too perfect bother us. The last two consecutive Sundays at Ekklesia we have had a new couple visit who decided to stay because we did (from my perspective) embarrassing and random stuff. A couple Sundays ago, among other things, our sound system freaked-out and we had to stop the service before worship. The new couple that week thought that part was great and that’s why they liked us (they’ve come to every event since). The next Sunday our bass player came in late because of work and on a fluke ended up walking right up on stage and started playing during our second song. The other new couple that came for the first time said that was when they knew Ekklesia was perfect for them! So, we technically gained 4 people in our church because we didn’t have it together. Note: I’m not saying be unprofessional, but it’s okay not to have it all together.
STRENGTH: The younger generation needs honesty, but our strength is also honesty. This characteristic is refreshing for churches to demonstrate: some may call this getting rid of “religion.” I wear flip-flops when I preach because I like flip-flops. I make fun of Michael W. Smith in sermons because everyone hates Michael W. Smith in my church and we all know it and laugh about it. I’ve also learned to be honest about my struggles, which has helped me feel less alone and have gotten help from others who struggle with similar things. I’ve learned from watching my associate pastor, Chris Dewar, who is also Gen Y. He attracts a lot of young people because he’ll tell you outright, in an appropriate manner, what he’s struggling with. Because he’s honest about his struggles, most people feel comfortable saying “Yeah, me too,” and it opens doors for ministry. For those of us who are new at this, we may hear that type of honesty and cringe at first…but when you see it working, you may re-evaluate your position.
As it applies to worship, in our worship songs there is emphasis on sin, brokenness, need for a Savior, and the paradoxes of faith – all things that are in the Bible but some evangelicals have cut out of worship songs because it doesn’t “feel good.” Our churches need this! This type of emphasis is not only good theology – it’s spiritually healthy for us to admit.
Yes, honesty can be messy. But wouldn’t you rather know who people truly are and what they really think? What the younger generation can offer you is freedom from being a fake Christian and to be yourself. We all have issues, we’re all human, and we’re all sinners. The good thing is that when we’re all honest about who we are, we all are able to realize our need for a Savior.
By the way, in all honesty, I also realize that I have way too much to say about this.
James Ferguson
Lead Pastor
Ekklesia: a relevant church, Canton, OH